What's more important, what God is doing in me or what I'm doing for God?

Often this question comes up only because we're too wrapped up in the tyranny of "doing for God" (pursuing our mission) at the cost of spending quiet time with Him (remembering our identity.)  A religiously busy life works to pull us away from quiet times of introspection and meditation ultimately leading us to neglect our spiritual and emotional well-being.  In addition to disconnecting us from God, this pattern if unchecked will also eventually bring other important relationships to ruin.   

Yet, the answer isn't what some rush to embrace by choosing to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction until all of life is about an inward spiritual focus.  Discipleship isn't exclusively about internal behaviors, decisions, attitudes, and values.  Discipleship requires obedience to the voice of Jesus.  So, neglecting God's calling to serve is just as sinful as ignoring his invitations to communion.  

It's important to remember that our identity is as children of God only because of His grace and that our mission/calling is separate but equally important.  Who we are isn't defined by what we do, but what we do does flow out of who we are.  Just like Israel in the Old Covenant, the church is a nation called to be God's chosen and holy people, separating themselves from the peoples around them (identity).  However, we also were given an assignment (mission.)  Our assignment isn't to find and conquer a promised land, but instead we're to use our gifts to help others know and follow Jesus.

In 2015 let's commit to spend quiet time with God each day reconnecting with the truth of our identity as forgiven and loved children of God.  Then, as God seems to be guiding you can choose to lead a ministry or program or some other type of God-given initiative that is seeking to make disciples, or you can employ your gifts on the team of a spiritual leader who is serious about the Christian mission.

1 Peter 2:9, 10
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Does God permit lying in some circumstances?

 Lying and half-truths is a topic I have to address as a dad on a regular basis.  Well, recently it came up again but not because we had an offender in the family.  In our family devotions last week we ran across a passage that caused my boys to ask, “why did God tell him to lie, dad?”

The situation we see in 1 Samuel 16 isn’t any different from the ethical dilemma many people have faced.  Can I lie under certain circumstances?

·      What should I do if a beggar asks me if I have any money, and my boys hear me say I don’t, but they know I do.

·      Say, my wife asks me how her new outfit looks?

·      What if a family I’m serving in another country asks me how I like the dinner I could barely stomach?

·      What if a mom lies to her abusive husband in order to escape the home with her kids?

·      Can a football team run a trick play and score the winning touchdown as a result of their masterful deception?

We all seem to be OK with setting some conditions on telling the truth in some situations as seen above.  However, we have a hard time knowing what to say when confronted with the direct question, is it OK to lie?

First of all, we all understand that the Bible teaches us to be truthful and honest starting with God’s confrontation with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and also seen in Exodus 20.  Furthermore, we know that God is truth and that He does not lie and therefore as his children it is our goal to be like him (2 Cor 4:2.)  Additionally we understand that the whole truth is very important in these situations:

1)   Total honesty to legal authority figures is vital for an orderly society and explicitly taught in Scripture.  We must tell the truth and the whole truth when asked by those responsible for our “law and order.”  That goes for children in the home as well.  The Israelites were taught to tell the truth and they couldn’t conveniently leave vital information out when in a court of law (Lev 5:1, Deut 19:18.) 

2)   Honesty communicates loyalty, increases trust, and it fosters intimacy, each of which are vital for the development of relationships.  So, total honesty is expected in marriage and in close friendships as well as between believers in a covenantal relationship.  As long as these relationships are healthy and mutual, to hold back personal information would be seen as dishonest and would miss opportunities for intimacy.

3)   Lastly, honesty about sin is a vital part of:  healing (Jas 5:16,) fellowship with God (1Jn 1:9,) and it proclaims the truth of Scripture to others… all of which are very important.

This is what we need to teach our children.  Simply, tell the truth and tell the whole truth.  In the process I need to be careful to model for them a consistency of truth-telling knowing that they are watching and listening to everything and tend to see life in very literal terms.

However, as my kids become adults I need to help them see that not everything in life is as black and white as we’d like it to be.  Just like there are exceptions and conditions to the command not to kill I have to help my boys learn to always be men of integrity and truth while knowing there will be some occasions that they shouldn’t tell the whole truth.

In 1 Sam. 16, God instructed Samuel to be prepared to give a half-truth to King Saul, if he were asked why he was in Bethlehem.   Why was this Ok for a God who is truth?  I believe there are four reasons why God would want us to not be transparent and in some cases deceptive.

1.     First of all I’m reminded that God doesn’t reveal everything to everyone and what he does reveal He doesn’t give all at once.  He has chosen to reveal bits and pieces of himself and the spiritual world and he has done so through installments of revelation throughout history and throughout our own lives.  Does that make God a liar?  It simply models for us the option to allow some information to remain a mystery until the right time and place.  So, in our relationships it’s important not to mislead or lie, but we can choose to withhold information to leave it a mystery.  Mysteries about me will reveal the people who truly are interested in me because those people respectfully pursue those answers to know me.  This is how we find our true friends and our mate.

2.     Careful allotments of personal information is a very strategic way for teaching others.  We can teach someone a skill or impart knowledge, but we don’t dump it all at once.  A good example of this is how we teach our kids about the birds and the bees…technically what we say to our two year old is usually a lie because we know that to give the whole truth would be at best confusing and at worst detrimental.

3.     We must lie sometimes to protect yourself and others.  We all know that there is certain information about ourselves that we would not divulge to certain people for fear they would use that against us.  Such has been the case for American POW’s who are interrogated and those who helped hide Jews from the Nazis.  Such is the case today in abusive homes and places where evil men exploit those who are vulnerable.

4.     Many people demanded that Jesus reveal who he was, but it often wasn’t the right time or the right situation.  Additionally, these people held no position of authority over him so he had no legal nor moral obligation to answer them.  If a person who is not a legal, moral, or spiritual authority seeks to interrogate us, we are free to use Godly discretion as to how much we reveal, knowing they don’t have our welfare in mind nor do they have responsibility for an orderly society.  Their motives are selfish.

God tells Samuel not to tell the whole truth to Saul because Saul held no legal nor moral right to demand total transparency and transparency would jeopardize innocent lives.  As was proven soon afterwards, such knowledge would only lead Saul to fixate on killing the ones God had ordained and it wasn’t yet God’s timing for David to become a fugitive.

I can’t easily explain these exceptions to my young kids, but after they've learned the importance of honesty and telling the truth I need to help them begin to learn that when evil people demand information from them, they’re free to say nothing or to mislead.  Now, if they deceive their family, parents, teachers, law enforcement, friends and church family, that’s a problem that needs my attention!

Ready to stop fighting?

Conflict is a part of life.  It's a part of marriage and family life.  It's a part of your work place and every organization where you're a member.  Conflict is everywhere because people are everywhere and we're all different.  Different personalities, different perspectives, different value systems, different beliefs, different needs, all contribute to the inescapable-ness of conflict.

Being able to resolve conflict is a skill that will earn you a lot of respect from your peers and it can even earn you a lot of money if you're in a high stakes leadership position.  However, sometimes resolution isn't possible even for the wisest mediator to achieve.  In that case, a person is faced with the options of unresolved conflict or conflict management.  

Conflict management being preferable to ongoing conflict requires among other things that we be willing to respect a decision that we do not agree with, assuming the relationship is a higher value than having to win or be right.  In a leadership or board meeting the majority may decide, but if you're in the minority you still need to respect the decision.  The same principle applies to a decision made by:  a boss, a referee in a basketball game, a legal vote, a judge, or a parent trying to raise responsible children.

Respecting a decision doesn't mean agreeing with it or giving up on the possibility that your idea or position may eventually prevail.  In many cases there is a prescribed and appropriate process of appeal.  What respecting a decision means is simply accepting the decision knowing that often times a poor decision is better than no decision.  It also means you receive credibility for the next time that your opinion wins out, and you ask those who don't like the decision to accept it for the sake of:   the team, the marriage, the family, the friendship, the organization, the country, etc. 

Ask your family - Is our faith in God real enough to give Him our money?

If you want to strengthen your home in 2014 be sure to manage your life according to a family budget and above all, be sure to entrust your finances to God so He can bless you!

Discussing finances

Each week I enjoy the opportunity to meet with a number of men from our church for mentoring, coaching, prayer or sometimes just to encourage them.  Recently a couple of my meetings have had discussions revolving around the topic of giving to the church.  I didn't go into the meetings with that on my agenda but it came up anyway.  

I love to help young believers wrestle with this issue because it's directly tied to our discipleship.  Our willingness to worship God/trust God by giving sacrificially is an important step of spiritual growth.  Tied to this is the character formation that God is wanting to do in us that results in becoming people who are truly generous.  I see this as a topic I need to continuously revisit in my own life and also teach to my boys.

Family Bible Study

Would you say that in 2013 your family demonstrated true faith and worship through financial giving to your church?   What about to other mission causes?  

Looking at who you are today vs a year ago would you say you're more generous than you were...that you're growing in this area of your life?  If because of your financial situation or because you're new to your faith, you find that it is difficult to give more (or at least something) to God, that's good!   It's good because God is pleased by offerings that require sacrifice and faith.

This begs another question...because sacrifice and faith are what God wants to see in us, if you faithfully tithed 10% of your income in 2013, was it a sacrifice or simply your "duty?"  10% was the OT instruction to the Jews but with the coming of the Holy Spirit there is no limit to the amount of sacrifice God may instruct us to give.  If you have been giving 10% or 5% or 1% or 20% the issue is still, what does God ask of me?

As a family read 2 Sam 24:18-24.  Why wouldn't David offer something to God that didn't cost him anything?  What have you given to God recently that cost you something?  What amount or percentage of income will you give as an offering to God in 2014 that will require faith and sacrifice?  Do you believe God will bless you for your faith?

The Gift of Perspective

Sometimes the greatest gift we could receive is “perspective.” 

Six and half years ago my wife Tammy, and I were in Phoenix Children’s Hospital with our newborn, Zachary, who was battling for his life.  During our daily visits to the hospital we discovered families who were facing problems worse than ours, which gave us perspective. During the recent economic downturn I have seen many people, businesses and churches that suffered more than me or my church.  That was a gift I needed to keep from self-pity.  I also saw that as a church we didn’t need the budget and programs that I thought we needed for God to use us…another gift from God.  

Of course perspective in times of blessing is also a gift from God.  What else keeps me grounded and humble when everything is going my way and my plans are unfolding just as I had imagined?  The truth is that success is often a greater test of character than the trials of life.  So, perspective becomes a vital ally in keeping us from walking down the path of self-sufficiency.  It’s perspective that reminds us that it’s all from God and it all belongs to God.  It’s perspective that teaches us to see that the outward trappings of “success” are only an illusion that could easily distract us from what God’s standard of success really is…faithfulness.

As they prepared for their trip to Bethlehem, I’m sure Mary and Joseph didn’t feel like their lives to that point had amounted to much.   I’m also quite confident that Mary wasn’t looking forward to an 80 mile donkey ride to Bethlehem.   Yet, throughout the first advent, God encouraged Mary and Joseph with visions and visitors.  These gifts from God gave them the heavenly perspective of what He was up to, which caused “Mary to treasure up all these things and ponder them in her heart (Lk 2”.) 

What is God up to in your life and in your church?  You can bet He’s up to something, but if you’re distracted by struggles or blessings you’ll miss it.  As was the case with the birth of Jesus, what God may be up to in your life could be simultaneously understated and profound.  So pray for the perspective to see it! 

Is it right to market our church?

Our church has been praying about a possible change in outreach focus.  Our first 8 years we've been focused on reaching out to the new and younger families moving into the newer part of town...a common strategy of churches in my lifetime.  Now, we're considering a new focus on the needs of people living in downtown Buckeye, a more needy, urban environment.

If we make this change it doesn't mean that we no longer care about the new people moving to town, it just means when we make our decisions about location, programing, priorities, staffing, marketing, worship service, etc. we make those decisions through a different lens.

When we started the church I hired a very capable young couple from CA who had gifts in admin, design, marketing, technology, contemporary Christian music, and children's education.  They were a perfect fit for our strategy!  Soon, after we hired a youth intern who was a high energy creative young man who was a natural programer.  Next we hired a high capacity professional musician, and added a dynamic family from CA to lead small groups.  Along with these hires we spent thousands on slick marketing, developed programing for the whole family, opened a professional office, and hired a receptionist.

The type of programing and hiring, plus our quick move out of downtown Buckeye (at the earliest possible moment), and the style of marketing and worship service all indicated our focus.  Even our mission and outreach projects we chose to do were the kind that suited young suburban families.  This focus accomplished our growth goal as we were one of the fastest growing churches in AZ during our first 2 1/2 years and most of our growth was young families.    

Did that mean we didn't want anyone who wasn't a young upwardly mobile family?  Absolutely not!  The diversity of age, social, and educational diversity of our church from the beginning has been remarkable.  There have been many who are older, or not new to town, or don't have young children, or don't have a college degree, or don't own their home who still found something about our church that attracted them in those first 2 1/2 years (and since.)

It comes down to unity.  When a church focuses in one direction it helps keep unity.  When everyone has a different opinion about programs, money priorities, who to hire, where to meet, how to market, what the worship service feels like, etc. it will split a church if there isn't a focus.  That's why it's important that before our church makes another move (which we need to do because of our current size,) we need to settle whether God is calling us to shift our focus from families moving to Buckeye to the needs of the working poor in downtown Buckeye.

We would still want new families to join with us.  However, we would be inviting these new families to join us not because of what we offer them and their kids, but because we welcome their help to redeem a group of people who are struggling and hurting and need Christ.  Honestly, it's not a great strategy to grow our church quickly, but the journey could result in the richest spiritual growth you've ever experienced.







 

50 Shades of Grey

There's a lot of media buzz about who is going to be the lead in the soon to be filmed "50 Shades of Grey."  I didn't read the book but heard enough to know it and the upcoming movie aren't worth my time and money and definitely not worth my endorsement.  

Where do you draw your line when deciding what entertainment you'll participate in?  Everyone draws a line at some point, so where is your line and why is it where it is?

One of the marks of our discipleship is the convictions we hold.  

These convictions aren't "because my pastor says so" or "our church doesn't believe in ____" or "it's the way I was brought up."  

Our convictions are rooted in our study of the Bible and the wisdom God gives us as we attempt to wed scripture with real life decisions.  

Additionally, our convictions are influenced by: 

2.  The well formed convictions of other believers whom we respect.  These are convictions that aren't legalistic.  They're sincere, faith-informed, self-imposed boundaries that aren't explicitly found in Scripture but are faithfully obeyed anyway.  These convictions aren't imposed on us but are caught by us because we hear from this person their biblical rationale and we respect the consistency and passion we see in this person.  This is the "iron sharpening iron" influence of mentors, parents, pastors, friends, etc. 

3.  The pain we experience or witness that is caused by others who don't live by Godly convictions.  We wisely decide we're not going to go anywhere near the possibility of causing pain by making those same decisions.  

4.  A third criteria for our convictions is our conscience.   Paul tells the church in Corinth that they should take into consideration their own conscience and the conscience of others whom they love when deciding how to live.  1 Corinthians 8-10

5.  A final factor in forming convictions is the reality that certain decisions we make could be morally OK but, Paul warns the Corinthians, at the same time if it will hurt someone you love...then it becomes immoral.

Although I wouldn't think that I'd have to say this, if you're a Christ follower and planning to see this movie my question is at what point would you draw your line if not here?  Everyone, even non-believers, draw a line somewhere.  Your line is whatever God is saying to you and a mark of your discipleship is that you will see in yourself a growing set of convictions about righteousness & justice.

  

We're adopted AND we're wanted!

I've been recently preaching about our Identity in Christ..."we're adopted by Him!"  Now I realize I'm going to need to qualify this description by adding..."and we're wanted by him."

I discovered some disturbing facts about a child trafficking problem in America - it's called "re-homing."  Internationally adopted kids who are no longer wanted are shopped online to anyone who will take them without any screening and it's legal if there's no money involved.  Of course you can guess the type of people who are trolling for kids on these web sites.

http://investigations.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/09/08/20389259-inside-americas-underground-network-for-adopted-children?lite

Here's an except - 

When she arrived in the United States, Quita says, she thought she was “coming to a nicer place, a safer place. It didn’t turn out that way,” she says today. “It turned into a nightmare.”

The teenager had been tossed into America’s underground market for adopted children, a loose Internet network where desperate parents seek new homes for kids they regret adopting. Like Quita, now 21, these discarded children are often the casualties of international adoptions gone sour.

Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found.

It is a largely lawless marketplace where the needs of parents are often put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America. One government official alerted child protection workers across the United States that the practice is “placing children in grave danger.” Even so, no laws specifically address it, and no government agency monitors the bulletin boards.

The practice is called “private re-homing,” a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking.

Is Fantasy Football Killing Your Marriage?

At our Fantasy Football Draft I reminded the guys that every time we take on a new hobby, diversion, commitment, etc. something else has to give.  I see people all the time who sign themselves or their kids up for one more activity without giving any thought as to what other priority they will cut back on to create the space to add something to their life.  Oftentimes these new activities are "fun" or "valuable" so we are quick to add it because we want it or need it.

But when we add a new "fun" or "valuable"priority without having the space to add one more thing, what we thought was good turns out to be bad for us or our family.  For instance, when men make college and NFL football a big priority or they play Fantasy Football, something else loses out and oftentimes that "something else" ends up being their marriage.  

One way to prioritize your marriage men, is to buy and read the book called:  For Men Only Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women, by Shaunti Feldhahn, Jeff Feldhahn.  This book will help you be a better husband which hopefully will counteract the temptation to be a worse husband for the next 4 months.  I'm giving this book to all the guys in my fantasy football league as part of their buy-in.  It's an easy read and will be an eye-opener as to what our wives need from us!

I'm a Struggling Pastor of a Struggling Church

29 years ago this week I and 100+ other boys went out for the freshman football team at Horizon High School.  The coach said on day one that he wasn't going to cut anyone and he was true to his word.  Yet, when the season started we had a team of 50.  The reason was "hell week."  That whole season was a struggle leading to more defections and my own weekly temptation to just quit.

Struggle is a part of life.  An athlete struggles to train and prepare to win a contest and a business struggles to earn customer trust and market share.  A church struggles to impact people's lives and meet expectations.  A marriage struggles to endure the trials and remain fulfilling.  I could go on with examples, but the point is that any goal oriented person or organization is going to struggle as long as they have a vision for more.

The past 5 years I've been struggling with how to be an effective leader without the benefit of the resources and momentum that I've always had in the past.   I already know I can lead when I have a pool of capable and mature people from which to recruit leaders and money to hire staff and create programs and facilities for meetings and events.  I've done it at 3 different churches.  However,  I've never been in this situation before.  My options are to "struggle" by faith toward the vision God has given me or to quit in the middle of "hell week."

The mistake I see so many people make is that they quit in order to escape "struggle."  God's alternative to quitting is called Sabbath.  The biblical principle of Sabbath requires a regular temporary rest from our struggles.  So, we should structure our schedules and demonstrate trust in God by taking periods of diversion, rest, and reflection.  But otherwise we're called as children of God to accept and even embrace struggle.   It may not be the struggle you expected, wanted, or chose, but because of the curse of sin, until we're in heaven we'll always face internal and external struggles.

If you need help embracing your struggles I recommend a study of Paul's "thorn in the flesh" (2 Cor 12:7.)

For my friends who are new to faith

You can't know what is going to happen when you invite Christ into your life to forgive your sins and to take control.  Like this video, what you can count on is a ride that will freak you out but in the end you'll be saying, "can we do that again?"

Check out a disguised Jeff Gordon and his "test drive" with an unsuspecting salesman in the passenger seat.  Ever felt like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5mHPo2yDG8

Living the Good Life

In John 15:8 we see that we can bring glory to God by bearing fruit and showing ourself to be a disciple of Jesus.  While there are many people who are working hard to bear fruit (living a good life) the efforts of the disciple aren't directed toward producing fruit...our efforts should be directed toward "abiding" in Jesus Christ.  When we are connected to Jesus the fruit comes effortlessly!

Unfortunately many people are very good and religious but they don't have a relationship with Jesus (in spite of their good works their sins remain unforgiven.)  They mistakenly think that good works will somehow erase their past sins or earn God's favor.  John chapter 15 reminds us that good works aren't for forgiveness they're from forgiveness...they come from the person who is already "abiding" in Jesus.

In other words after we receive His forgiveness of sins, then He will produce fruit through us.  So, stop trying to be a good person and start trying to "abide" in Jesus.  It goes against our instincts that we should stop trying to be good.  However, that is the teaching of John 15.  Abide in Jesus and the good will come as a by-product of our relationship with Him.  There are three parts to abiding in Him.

1. The life of abiding in Jesus begins with a decision to trust Him and believe that His death on the cross took care of all your sins (past, present and future sins.)  If you believe this and that He rose from the dead you now forgiven and "in Him" (Eph 2:8, 9). 
2. Throughout your day take time to meditate on God and His Word (Psalm 1) and to praise and thank Him continually (1 Thes 5:16.)
3. Inevitably you'll recognize times in your day when you mess up and fall short of God's perfect standard for living.  At the very moment you feel the guilt of your sin, admit to God that your behavior, attitude or thought was wrong (1 John 1:9).   

Interesting Context Note - This message on abiding was given by Jesus as he moved from the upper room demonstration of servanthood toward his time of prayer and anguish in the Garden of Gethsemene.  In other words he knew his hour had come and this was the last message He most wanted his disciples to hear.  He knew that there were going to be some very challenging times for them in the near future and if they were to survive, His disciples would need to practice the spiritual disciplines of "abiding."

Refusing to have your feet washed?

Last week before I preached on John 13, I asked my family to come onto the stage and to let me wash their feet.  It was an emotional time that I trust will be remembered by them forever.  Yet, before I started, it crossed my mind that one of them might refuse to do this.  They might feel too awkward or embarrassed to allow me to do this in front of the church.  I'm glad that this didn't happen, but if it did they would not have been able to share in this stirring moment.  The opportunity would have been lost.  This was what Jesus faced with Peter as he washed his disciples' feet.

In John 13, Jesus denigrates himself in order to serve his disciples and to make a point.  His future reign as King would come about not through politics, threats, alliances, conflict, coercion and military power.  His Kingdom would be established and then expanded through acts of service.  His reign began with His service of sacrifice on Golgotha and his kingdom grew through the service of his disciples who followed the example of servant leadership they had witnessed in the upper room.

However, at that moment before the meal was served, a new revolution of servanthood was not on the minds of a single disciple in the upper room.  For this reason Jesus said something very interesting as he attempted to wash Peter's feet.  He said, "unless I wash you, you have no part with me."  It was at this moment that Jesus was crystalizing his strategy for world domination and it happened to be 180 degrees opposite of what Peter and the others expected.  Jesus was saying, "I'm doing this with or without you and I'm doing it through servanthood... so decide now if you're with me or not and whether you you want to be part of what I'm doing in the world."

For those who have studied their Bibles, you already understand this, but here's the part that many people miss...Jesus could not serve without an object to receive his service.  Jesus couldn't serve Peter without his permission.  In other words, there can be no server if there is no "servee."  Salvation is only available to a person willing to be served by Jesus.  Every false religion in the world has one thing in common...they all teach that you must do something to reach God (or to be saved.)  This belief contradicts the Bible which tells us here and in numerous places, that we must receive Jesus' forgiveness as a gift (we must let Him wash us.)

The person who fails to receive His gift but instead attempts to earn God's forgiveness or to atone for their own sins, is refusing to allow Jesus to wash him/her.  Have you let Jesus wash you?  Tell him that you believe that his death on the cross was enough to wash away your sins and that you give him permission to serve you by washing you.  Now, read John 13:1-15 and imagine that you are at the table and Jesus has just washed your feet!