Ready to stop fighting?

Conflict is a part of life.  It's a part of marriage and family life.  It's a part of your work place and every organization where you're a member.  Conflict is everywhere because people are everywhere and we're all different.  Different personalities, different perspectives, different value systems, different beliefs, different needs, all contribute to the inescapable-ness of conflict.

Being able to resolve conflict is a skill that will earn you a lot of respect from your peers and it can even earn you a lot of money if you're in a high stakes leadership position.  However, sometimes resolution isn't possible even for the wisest mediator to achieve.  In that case, a person is faced with the options of unresolved conflict or conflict management.  

Conflict management being preferable to ongoing conflict requires among other things that we be willing to respect a decision that we do not agree with, assuming the relationship is a higher value than having to win or be right.  In a leadership or board meeting the majority may decide, but if you're in the minority you still need to respect the decision.  The same principle applies to a decision made by:  a boss, a referee in a basketball game, a legal vote, a judge, or a parent trying to raise responsible children.

Respecting a decision doesn't mean agreeing with it or giving up on the possibility that your idea or position may eventually prevail.  In many cases there is a prescribed and appropriate process of appeal.  What respecting a decision means is simply accepting the decision knowing that often times a poor decision is better than no decision.  It also means you receive credibility for the next time that your opinion wins out, and you ask those who don't like the decision to accept it for the sake of:   the team, the marriage, the family, the friendship, the organization, the country, etc.