Philosophy of small group discipleship

Small groups are the key to disciple development within the local church.  There are three primary means of spiritual growth in the life of a Christian and all three will effectively happen through a healthy, well-led, and purposeful small group.

1.   Spiritual growth happens through Christian community.  The Bible describes numerous “one anothers” that require active and mutual service among Christians living in community.  Proverbs (27:17) describes this as “iron sharpening iron.”  Small groups are a place where this sharpening happens.

2.   Spiritual growth happens through circumstances.  James chapter one tells us that trials are to be expected and embraced for the purpose of spiritual growth.  We will never attain maturity without trials and we will never attain maturity if we give up hope and faith in the middle of a trial.  Small groups provide the support that people need to endure through their trial with faith and hope intact.

3.   Spiritual growth happens through the study and application of God’s Word.  This is the sign of wisdom and maturity described in many places in the Bible.  Without knowing the Scriptures we can’t obey, but knowledge without obedience leads to pride.  The small group can be an effective place for learning God’s Word and a place where accountability leads to application and spiritual growth.

In some groups, one or two of these elements may be identified as the primary purpose of the group, but all three should be on the mind of the well–trained leader who wants to see spiritual growth in his group.  Regardless of the stated identity of a given small group, a qualified and trained leader can intentionally integrate the three elements of spiritual growth into any group of disciples. 

I tend to classify small groups into one of three categories based on their distinctive issue or purpose that identifies and gathers them…Cause Groups (missional, or ministry teams, or support groups, etc.), Community Groups (neighborhood, age or life-stage specific, sub-culture, etc.), and Content Groups (Bible studies, leadership training, theology classes, etc.)  In each of these groups, the leader looks beyond the stated purpose in order to optimize the teachable moments for his members along the way.

For our leaders...Be Inclusive except for legalists

This past Saturday, I taught a seminar at a leadership training conference on being an “outward” focused church.  The reason I was invited to speak on this topic is because our church has become well known in our community (and among many of my peers) as a church that has been committed to being externally focused from our very beginning.  That being said, Mountain Vista Community Church has never been a “free-for-all,” or “the more the merrier” conglomeration of the masses.

As a leader at MVCC it’s important that you know that our openness and commitment to outreach stems from our desire to mimic the inclusive nature of Jesus Christ.  It was Jesus’ practice to take time to minister to those who were lost and knocked down by life.  However, don’t miss this very important next point. 

Jesus by his very choice of words “excluded” many.  He excluded all who were arrogant and self-sufficient.  That’s why he said it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of needle than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom (Matthew 19:24.)  He wasn’t commenting on wealth per se as sinful, but the arrogance and self-sufficiency it often creates in us.

Wealth isn't required to make someone arrogant.  The overtly arrogant come in all shapes and sizes and they’re to be excluded from our fellowship by our choice of words…direct instead of passive, honest instead of accommodating, harsh instead of patronizing, anger instead of timidity.  At least that’s what Jesus did.  Now, Jesus’ intent was that his bold truthfulness would cause these people to realize their wrong attitude and come to him in humility and find grace.  However, many didn’t accept his harsh words and were subsequently excluded from fellowship by their own choice!

Did you know that there is only one unpardonable sin?  The Bible communicates amazing stories of grace and forgiveness extended by God to all who acknowledge their shortcomings and cry out to him for salvation...no matter how bad their moral failure.  That’s why our church has always been committed to reach out to people and welcome them in with whatever issues they have.  We know that Jesus will forgive them and redeem their life for his glory.  However, one sin He will not forgive. 

God will not and cannot forgive the kind of arrogance that rejects Jesus and the grace He offers to everyone (Mark 3:28-30.)  The Devil was the first to commit this sin…believing that he did not need God and that he could run his own life.  So, he became separated from God by his own choice.  In the same way, deep-seated arrogance in UNBELIEVERS is what keeps them from humbling themselves and asking God for forgiveness even though God offers every person multiple opportunities to repent and experience His peace.

If arrogance is at the root of the only unpardonable sin, what should be our attitude toward BELIEVERS who, although forgiven, continue to live with a overt disposition to this sin?  It’s to respond the way Jesus often did toward the religious elite – with brutal unapologetic honesty.  So, as a leader who has been raised up by God for a purpose, you are to love on those who humbly seek God and be brutally honest with those who arrogantly challenge your convictions, your motives, and your leadership.  If they leave your group that’s God's will but if they change, you’ve helped to save them.  In either case you've protected your ministry from being commandeered by legalists!

Don't actually say "thank you"

Every Sunday I teach myself something and this week was no exception.

After last Sunday I will forever be changed in the way I think about something that I do every day.  Eph 5:20 instructs us to have an attitude of thanksgiving which I have always tried to do.  I also work to teach my boys to say thank you because that shows politeness and good manners.  Well, as I studied the idea of thankfulness I was struck by how much more it means to be thankful than simply saying thank you.  I guess it all does start there, but how many people are stuck at a 4 year old level of thankfulness?

What I mean is that if I get good at saying thank you I'm just doing what I've taught my 4 year old son to do, and there's a long way for me to go before I achieve what God wants for me in this area of my life.  In other languages there are idiomatic phrases that are used instead of "thanks," i.e. "that makes my heart warm," or "may God repay you."  In fact, in the very ancient languages you won't find an exact word that is by itself translated "thanks."  In ancient Hebrew you will typically see the word "praise" or "bless" which have much more meaning than "thank you."

So, if you want to graduate beyond 4 year old thanksgiving to a more Godly thanksgiving, start doing what I'm starting to do.  Stop saying "thanks" and in place of that word substitute,
   - I appreciate that you ...  (be specific about a quality that made you thankful for them)
   - (Brag in front of someone else)  I noticed that you always finish the jobs you start and you put a lot of effort into your work!
   - (Contribute something of value)  You work hard and with such a great attitude - can I take you out for lunch (or give you ...) as a token of my appreciation.

Leave a comment of an example of how you've done this recently.



  

The spiritually entitled

In my teen years I grew up in a wealthy part of town and saw many friends who lived very entitled lives.  More than ever, that way of thinking has become a liability for people who have never been made to hone a marketable skill that could earn them the salary they expect.  Similarly those who feel spiritually entitled are just asking for pain.

We see throughout the Old Testament numerous examples of national pride and individual arrogance tying directly to the Jew’s understanding of their election by God.  Even one of our biblical heroes, Joseph, endured much pain for his rash response to receiving the revelation that he himself was chosen by God, and not his brothers. 

Paul speaks in Ephesians 1 of our chosen-ness and our adoption as sons into God’s family.  I was struck by Paul’s positive and thankful tone that accompanies this teaching.  He sounds like someone who is truly amazed and humbled that God would choose him.  Paul’s attitude is certainly in contrast to the attitude I’ve observed in myself and other Christians when the topic of election comes up. 

Missing out on the opportunity to give

In Exodus 36:6, 7 Moses actually told the people to stop their offerings…they had plenty. I’m asking myself, how might this happen in my ministry? I’m also wondering what affect it would have on people if they knew that their “opportunity” to give to a worthy cause, might in fact have a short life span. In other words, if they don’t give immediately, they won’t have an opportunity to give at all to the project (i.e. the tabernacle will be built without their help.) 

Feast or Fast - Get rid of the E

Electronics and Entertainment consume huge amounts of our time.  At what cost?  When we take the E out of our life we suddenly free up a huge amount of time we can use for something else more productive - like spending it with our creator.  It seems that we all are constantly texting, connecting on Facebook, listening to TV and music, on the phone, instant messaging, going to the movies, etc. etc.  Our lives are full and often too full.  It's like we're feasting on the E parts of life as if we're at some unending amusement buffet.  If we see a small area on our plate that is empty we quickly fill that spot from the buffet.  God wants us to demonstrate His importance by carving out time to be with him.  We can find time in our busy schedules for God by fasting from food or ending the feasting on electronics and entertainment.

In Matthew 6 Jesus gives instructions about fasting.  He says "when" you fast, not "if."  Jesus also spent big blocks of time escaping people to be with his Heavenly Father - we can assume without food.  We know for sure that at least once he spent 40 days fasting (Matthew 4).

Who decides: the young-uns or the fuddy-duddies?

A question was recently passed along by a ministry friend/mentor.  My short answer is that resources are scarce and a church can only accommodate a limited amount of "consumerist needs."  Yet this is simplistic and not always the true answer so I've pasted the original question below and then give my longer answer.
___________________________________________________
"I know that there is and always will be some level of tension between generations - even in the church of Christ contrary to His wishes and directions. However, on a philosophical note, I have to ponder, why this tension and adversarial situation seems to be a pretty common thing in the church of our time? How does it develop? How can it be addressed? Is it "normal" and should we just learn to deal with it, or is it against the model of the church Jesus has given to us?  

I just recently returned from an 11 day vacation with five days designated for the family, a transition day, and then five days with just my wife.  The two parts of our summer vacation couldn’t have been more different.

We spent the family portion on the Mogollon Rim of AZ, tent camping.  We experienced camp fires, smores, fishing, games, reading kids' books, hiking, whittling sticks, chasing wild life, and ducking for cover when the daily monsoon storm came rolling in.  We also made sure to break up the routine with trips into town for pizza and one trip to Payson to go bowling.  It was good family fun:)

The next week when it was just Tammy and me we used our credit card points to book a nice hotel in Las Vegas.  We ate at nice restaurants, walked the strip (side stepping the sex vendors,) shopped, visited the fountains of the Bellagio, watched some gambling, read next to the pool, visited the Spa, took in a spectacular show, and of course there was the part that will have to stay in Vegas.  Most of what we enjoyed was not kid friendly, ranging between boring for kids and inappropriate for kids.

The point is that there are times in the family life when the adults do things especially for themselves and there are times when the family needs and interests are the focus.  With four young boys we find that the latter is more often our focus.   Youth sports, school and school functions, structuring their chores and free time, home education and faith development, etc. etc. require the bulk of our focus.  Unity in the home is experienced when the adults work hard at creating a home environment where the children can grow and thrive.

Like in a family, churches also should be places where the environment is intentionally created by the mature/leaders to bring benefit to the young/immature and the unbelievers.  We learn to forgo our stylistic preferences and superficial desires because we understand that young ones require sacrifice from adults so that the environment is suitable and even fun for them.

So, my answer to this question is ultimately about creating the right expectations for the spiritually mature people in my church - 

1. Affirming them as the true leaders of our church 

2. Giving reminders - as leaders they will often be asked to make sacrifices 

3. 

Teaching them to help safeguard the “substance” of the church (i.e. beliefs, discipline, values) but to let go of stylistic preferences for the benefit the "kids"

4. 

Promise them occasional “trips to Vegas” - events and opportunities that challenge the leaders at a high level and include them in adult conversations that would be inappropriate for the young ones

So, the fuddy-duddies (spiritually mature people) win.  They get to decide what church will look and feel like. However, if that group of people are truly leaders, they will decide to design a church that appeals to the young-uns, ahead of their own preferences.  Of course if the elders/seniors in the church aren't also it's spiritually mature group - then there's a whole other set of dysfunctional issues to worry about that goes far beyond what the church feels and looks like.