Who decides: the young-uns or the fuddy-duddies?

A question was recently passed along by a ministry friend/mentor.  My short answer is that resources are scarce and a church can only accommodate a limited amount of "consumerist needs."  Yet this is simplistic and not always the true answer so I've pasted the original question below and then give my longer answer.
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"I know that there is and always will be some level of tension between generations - even in the church of Christ contrary to His wishes and directions. However, on a philosophical note, I have to ponder, why this tension and adversarial situation seems to be a pretty common thing in the church of our time? How does it develop? How can it be addressed? Is it "normal" and should we just learn to deal with it, or is it against the model of the church Jesus has given to us?  

I just recently returned from an 11 day vacation with five days designated for the family, a transition day, and then five days with just my wife.  The two parts of our summer vacation couldn’t have been more different.

We spent the family portion on the Mogollon Rim of AZ, tent camping.  We experienced camp fires, smores, fishing, games, reading kids' books, hiking, whittling sticks, chasing wild life, and ducking for cover when the daily monsoon storm came rolling in.  We also made sure to break up the routine with trips into town for pizza and one trip to Payson to go bowling.  It was good family fun:)

The next week when it was just Tammy and me we used our credit card points to book a nice hotel in Las Vegas.  We ate at nice restaurants, walked the strip (side stepping the sex vendors,) shopped, visited the fountains of the Bellagio, watched some gambling, read next to the pool, visited the Spa, took in a spectacular show, and of course there was the part that will have to stay in Vegas.  Most of what we enjoyed was not kid friendly, ranging between boring for kids and inappropriate for kids.

The point is that there are times in the family life when the adults do things especially for themselves and there are times when the family needs and interests are the focus.  With four young boys we find that the latter is more often our focus.   Youth sports, school and school functions, structuring their chores and free time, home education and faith development, etc. etc. require the bulk of our focus.  Unity in the home is experienced when the adults work hard at creating a home environment where the children can grow and thrive.

Like in a family, churches also should be places where the environment is intentionally created by the mature/leaders to bring benefit to the young/immature and the unbelievers.  We learn to forgo our stylistic preferences and superficial desires because we understand that young ones require sacrifice from adults so that the environment is suitable and even fun for them.

So, my answer to this question is ultimately about creating the right expectations for the spiritually mature people in my church - 

1. Affirming them as the true leaders of our church 

2. Giving reminders - as leaders they will often be asked to make sacrifices 

3. 

Teaching them to help safeguard the “substance” of the church (i.e. beliefs, discipline, values) but to let go of stylistic preferences for the benefit the "kids"

4. 

Promise them occasional “trips to Vegas” - events and opportunities that challenge the leaders at a high level and include them in adult conversations that would be inappropriate for the young ones

So, the fuddy-duddies (spiritually mature people) win.  They get to decide what church will look and feel like. However, if that group of people are truly leaders, they will decide to design a church that appeals to the young-uns, ahead of their own preferences.  Of course if the elders/seniors in the church aren't also it's spiritually mature group - then there's a whole other set of dysfunctional issues to worry about that goes far beyond what the church feels and looks like.